Harry Potter: Behind Closed Doors
by JohnLockSher
Summary: Harry Potter abuse story. This is the first part. Warning: mildly graphic. Harry's life that he hides from others. sad.
1. chapter 1

**I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS! these are the harry potter books. i only own the plot**

 ** _Personal Note:_** _This is my first time actually publishing a story on here. I am a highschool student so please be patient with me. Thankyou for your understanding._

Tell me if you have any ideas on how I can improve my writing.!

 **Special Thanks:** _Thank you so much **apologize.in.advance** for all of your help, encouragment and patience- definietly the patience-. I truly appreciate it._

 ** _Chapter One:_** The Beginning

Harry woke up in a cold sweat from yet another bad dream. He couldn't begin to explain it even if he wanted to... which he didn't.

He tried to calm his breathing without taking breathes to deep, his ribs were killing him. He lifted his shirt to check on them and noticed how the cut caused by the belt buckle was still red and hasn't scabbed over very well. he then checked on the bruising on his ribs, stomach, legs, arms, and back.

The injuries didn't look to bad but they didn't feel to good either. Harry sighed, then instantly regretted it as his ribs twinged.

' _Oh, well. i've gotten worse be_ _fore'_ , he thinks to himself. Then he smiles as he realizes tomorrow he leaves for Hogwarts, he'll be free for a little while. That's all he wants.

The smile fades into a look of panic when Harry see's the clock and realizes he needs to get up before the Dursley's wake up and see that he isn't cooking them breakfast! Harry gets up, almost hitting his head on the slopped ceiling of his cupboard. He slips on some clothes and avoids looking in the mirror, he always hates what he see's.

He gets out into the hallway and runs to the kitchen and starts frying bacon then cracks the eggs for their omelet. Harry briefly get's lightheaded and nearly falls over.

Of course, the Dursely's pick that time to show up in the kitchen. Mr. Dursely gives the boy a harsh slap to the face and tells him to stop fooling about.

Harry curses himself for being so stupid and apologizes to Mr. Dursely. When breakfast is done cooking he serves the plates to Mrs. Dursely and then Mr. Dursely and finally his cousin Dudely.

They all ignore him and start eating their food like pigs. Harry is about to take a bite of a slice of bacon that he had cooked for himself when Mr. Dursley slaps it out of his hand and says,

" How dare you!? You with hold food from the family that took you in. We took in a freak like you and you go and steal our food!"

Harry feels guilt and then dread as Mr. Dursely gets that look in his eye, an excited gleam, Harry knows what that means.

" No! Sir please i'm sorry! I really am, i won't do it again please!" Harry begs. He backs away into the hall and stumbles to the floor, he was so hungry and thirsty, but he was even more tired than anything else. so all that left him unbalanced and dizzy, he was defensless in this state. His uncle came closer and Harry closed his eyes as he knew what was coming.

Blow after blow after blow to his sides and back. Harry remembered seeing multiple feet kicking which means that Dudely has joined in as well.

"P-please... stop!", Harry begs before he can stop himself.

"You are so pathetic!", Mr. Dursely hollars.

Harry is dragged to the living room where he gets hit with a belt over and over again. Harry, knowing this wouldn't end anytime soon, began to count the hits he took to distract himself from the pain. His clothes began to tear, as well as his skin.

"Honey. As much as i hate to stop you", Mrs. Dursely interupts sounding like she wished she could just watch this " He has to leave tomorrow for that freakshow he calls a school and those wizard freaks may come snooping around if he doesn't show up."

Mr. Dursely stops and nods his agreement to Mrs. Dursely. Then he crouches down close to Harry's face. He looks absolutely disgusted to be so close to Harry.

"You are a worthless freak. you get in everyone's way and you just don't stop bothering people", Mr. Dursely begins, " you will not tell anyone about this...", Mr. Dursely chuckles, "but even if you did, no one would care. you deserve everything you get".

He puts and hand a Harry's neck then he slowly drags his hand down his chest, past his stomach, and tugs at the waist line of Harry's jeans he then proceeded to grab Harry in an uncomfortable spot. Then after making sure Harry was still in pain and uncomfortable with what he did , Mr. Dursely abrubtly stood up and gave Harry devilish grin. Before Harry had time to realize what he was going to do, Mr. Dursely kicked Harry in the back of the head, knocking him out instantly.

Harry woke up hours later with, not surprisingly, a massive headache. Harry rolled over to relieve pressure off his head and back. He groaned in pain as he forced himself into a sitting position. He got another head rush and started to fall over again, but stopped himself just in time.

He looked over at the clock and saw that it was 4:00A.M. Ron and the twins would be meeting Harry at Ms. Anthea's house at 7.

Ms. Anthea was one of the few muggle's who new about the wizarding world, she had been assisting people when they need to get to Hogwarts and she watches over the streets to make sure no Dementors attack.

Harry had known Ms. Anthea for a long time and he liked her, she was so sweet and could defend herself against a dementor even though she was in her mid 80's.

Harry looked around the room to see if there was anything he wanted to take with him to Hogwart's besides his small bookbag which contains four shirts and three pairs of pants, that was all the cloths he owned. His room was as bare as it always was, the only things he had was his wand, owl, and the clothes. Nothing else. He didnt have a blanket or anything like that, so he didn't need to worry about that.

He forced himself to stand up but made sure to duck his head just enough to avoid hitting the low ceiling.

Harry decided he would leave now to avoid seeing his Aunt and Uncle in the morning. He could just sit on Ms. Anthea's porch until she woke up or the Weasely's showed up, whichever comes first.

Harry changed into a clean pair of cloths and realizes the clothes that he had been wearing were now useless.

"Great", Harry mutters sarcastically.

He grabbed his bag and quietly grabbed his wand and unlocked the cupboard door, which they always lock after a punishment. when he finally got out of his cupboard his crept out the front door.

Harry let a smile show on his face as he breathed in the fresh air which he hadn't had since he left Hogwart's. Harry was free! He was just so happy to be outside despite the injuries to his body.

Harry began to walk down the street to Ms. Anthea's house. It was a few blocks down and it would take about 15 minutes to get there. But Harry didn't mind, he enjoyed walking down the dark road, away from the Dursley's house.

Harry had to stop twice on the way to Ms. Anthea's house. His ribs were killing him and his headache was making his head spin and, if he got to light headed, his vision began to darken and he would almost pass out. So to stop that from happening he had to pause and take a break. so, due to Harry's injuries, the 15 minute walk turned into a thirty minute stumble-walk.

But, he made it. Harry stopped in front of Ms. Anthea's house and then slowly crouched down to sit on her porch. Harry groaned out in pain but was relieved to know he was getting away.

 **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!! And once again i want to thank** _apologize.in.advance_ **For everything! ( you should check out her stories, i love them all).**

 **This story i have written will be a series. I will hopefully have it out soon and get into a good routine.**

 **Please review! I love reading reviews. Don't bother posting insulting one's because those go in one ear and out the other, so you're only wasting your own time.**

 **Let me know if y'all have any ideas for the series i would love to hear them. Advice is always welcome.**

 **Bye**


	2. Harry Potter: Out And Away

**I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTER'S!!** These are the Harry Potter books. I only own the plot.

Everyone is a bit OOC( out of character) and SOME of this stuff may not be completely accurate. Sorry.

 _ **Personal note:** This is my SECOND story that i have published on here. My first was the first chapter of this series called "Harry Potter: Behind Closed Doors". _Like I said before, I am in Highschool so please have patience with me.

Thankyou for understanding.

Tell me if you have any ideas on how I can improve my writing!

 ** _special thanks:_** Thankyou so much **disappearing kangaroo** for all the awesome support and help!

 **CHAPTER TWO:** _Hiding The Truth_

Sometime between 4:30AM, when Harry had sat down at Ms. Anthea's house, and 6AM, Harry had dozed off. He didn't remember doing that but he must have because Ms. Anthea had come outside and nudged his shoulder gently to wake him up.

When Harry opened his eyes, he was briefly disoriented but he quickly remembered where he was and why. He was safe, He was away from the Dursely's. Safe. Safe. He kept repeating the words over and over in his head until he convinced himself that it was true.

Ms. Anthea hadn't noticed the internal war Harry was having, Which he was glad about.

"Hello Ms. Anthea. How are you this morning?"

She smiled kindly at him and said,

" I'm doing just fine, dear. How are you doing?"

Harry hesitated before answering. He never gets asked that question so he never knows how to reply to it.

"I'm fine. I hope I didn't wake you!" Harry says guiltly as he realizes that he may have made too much noise. He felt horrible and feared that she would hate him now.

" Oh heavens No! Harry i woke up about fifteen minutes ago, I never know when you you boys are gonna show up. But Harry you always seem to come so much earlier than necessary, don't you need to sleep? Surely you must be tired, waking up so early! when on earth did you even get here?" she exclaimed. She wasn't mad, Harry was relieved. But now he had to answer her questions without sounding suspicious.

" umm i wasn't very tired. i got here not too long ago", Harry answered vaguely, looking for a way to change the subject.

" Well then. Let's get you inside. You can help with breakfast, then."

Harry did what she said while they were cooking a bunch of pancakes, bacon and eggs for everyone that would be using the portal in her backyard today.

"Thankyou Harry for all your help."

Harry was confused for a second because he had never been thanked before. definitely not when he was cooking, thats all he was good for, afterall. Right? Ms. Anthea didn't seem to think so, but maybe she did think so and just didn't want to tell him for some reason.

Harry decided to think about it more when he could stand up and not get lightheaded.

Just as Harry and Ms. Anthea finished setting the grand table, Ron, the twins: Fred and George, then Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, all showed up in Ms. Anthea's back yard.

"Oh! Perfect timing! Perfect Timing!" Ms. Anthea exclaimed as she exited her house to greet the Weasley's, While Harry stood awkwardly in the doorway, shrowded in shadows.

"Hello Anthea." The twins said in unison. They knew her well enough to know that they didn't need to call her _Ms._ Anthea. But Harry never got used to that.

"Hello Fred, George! Good to see you! Im not even going to bother trying to tell who's who" she laughed, hugging them both.

" And Ron. Still as handsome as ever" she says, ruffling up his hair, causing the twins to chuckle. Ron rolls his eyes playfully and fixes his hair.

" Hi Anthea." Ron says as he gets a bone crushing hug from her like every year.

" Arthur! Molly! Im glad y'all are coming down this year. Are you staying at the school this time?" she asked looking at the Weasleys whom she knew so well.

" Yes. We are going to assist in the student trips and what not. Nothing special but it gives us something to do." Mrs. Weasley replies.

" Where's Harry? He's usually here by now.", Ron asks.

"Knowing him, he's probably been here since midnight.", the twins joke lightly.

"Oh, yes he's inside. You know how he is.", Ms. Anthea said, as she lead the way inside.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasely shared a concerned look when they heard about Harry. Everybody knew that Harry was a bit awkward and no one really thought it was too bad, but Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were concerned about him. He acted strange and jumpy around people and he tended to shy away from people as much as possible.

The Weasley's had considered talking to Harry and asking him about it, but they just never knew where to start with it. They never imagined the secret he was hiding.

"He helped me cook y'all a big breakfast, this morning!", she exclaimed.

And Ron- always the lover of food- immediatly perked up upon the mention of food, which made the twins chuckle.

They entered the house and Harry was there standing near the door as if he might run. Fred and George walked over, not noticing Harry's stiff posture, and rubbed Harry's head and gave him fist bumps like they always did when they saw Harry.

Then Ron came up giving him a friendly shoulder punch and a brief man hug.

"Hey mate. Whats you up too?"

" Hey. The usual. What about you?", Harry replied, happy to see Ron again.

" I've got so much to tell you!", Ron began excitedly but, before he could start telling Harry everything that happened over the summer, Mr. Weasley showed up.

" Well you're gonna have to tell him later. Right now we need to eat and then we'll be off.", Mr. Weasley interupted.

Ron walked over to the table, sat down and started to eat with his brothers.

Mr. Weasley put an arm around Harry's shoulders, as a father would do to a son, and began to walk with Harry over to the table. As Mr. Weasley put his arm around his shoulders, Harry had winced as his arm rubbed against the end of a welt that had reached to Harry's shoulder but was luckily covered by his t-shirt. He tried to hide this by smiling at Mr. Weasley, who wasn't fooled but acted as if he was. Mr. Weasley noticed how bony Harry was, as well. Granted, Harry had always been skinny, maybe skinnier than he should be, but now he could feel Harry's shoulder bone!

 _'Had Harry always been this skinny?',_ Mr. Weasley wondered. But still Mr. Weasley never imagined the kind of secret Harry was hiding.

" How are you Mr. Weasley?", Harry asked, hoping to distract him from Harry's wince.

" Oh Harry how i wish you would just call me dad or at least Arthur.", Mr. Weasley exclaimed without any actual anger.

"okay. How are you Mr. Arthur?", Harry asked again, this time changing his name.

Mr. Weasley laughed and said,

"I'm fine, i'm fine", he paused, still chuckling", how are you?", the question seemed to catch Harry off guard.

" i-i'm okay" he answered, almost like a question. Mr. Weasley stared at Harry for a moment longer before motioning for Harry to sit down.

Mr. Weasley went and sat down next to his wife, across the table. Everyone was talking and eating and enjoying themselves, everyone happy to be returning to Hogwarts. Harry was happy too, but he didn't eat much. Sure he was hungry but it still felt weird to be allowed to it with everyone else. He still had that fear, however irrational, that he would get in trouble for eating. It happened so often at home. So instead he just pushed his food around the plate, barely taking two bites the entire time.

He shook his head to clear his mind of the darkness that kept trying to invade his mind and instead forced himself to focus on the converstions around him.

Ron was talking to his brothers about their magic shop and all the new tricks they had in the store.

Mrs. Weasley was talking to Ms. Anthea about new knitting patterns and wanting to get a pet dragon.

Mr. Weasely was listening to a joke that Ron had started telling to everyone. Soon the whole table was laughing. Harry looked around at everyone and began to relax just a bit.

' _Im safe. Im away. Im safe'_ , he told himself. He was with people he loved and trusted.

Safe for now.

Everyone had finished eating and Mrs. Weasley used her wand to make the dishes clean themselves and put themselves away. Mrs. Anthea thanked her, and they all walked out back to take their leave.

Ms. Anthea hugged everyone as they headed out the back door. Harry was last and braced himself for the hug. He bite his lip as she rubbed his back, barely able to hold back his tears as the welts throbbed from her touch.

' _keep calm. Just get it over with',_ Harry told himself.

She released him and he walked out back with the others. Mrs. Weasley, being a mother, instantly knew that Harry was hurt.

"Harry, honey. Whats wrong?" she asked when Harry had joined them in the center of the yard.

Harry's face drained of color when everyone looked in his direction waiting for an answer.

' _They're staring at me. They know! They know what happened! Im dead! They'll be disgusted now! What do I do? Tell them something different! Hurry!'_

I- Uh. What do you mean?" Harry asked looking down at himself for emphasis.

" I know perfectly well that you know what i mean! Whats wrong?" she repeated but with no anger.

' _crap! WHAT DO I DO?'_

Panic threatened to overtake him as he silently struggled for air and an excuse.

"I'm just tired. Didn't sleep too good last night... Im beat", Harry added before he could stop himself. Part of him wanted them to make the connection between what he said and help him. But the other half- the half that was currently winning- wanted him to keep his mouth shut because he knew he deserved the stuff he gets at home, so stop complaining.

She looked him over one more time and seemed like she was about to argue when Ron stepped in to help his friend.

"Ah come on mom! Harry was just excited to get back to Hogwarts and didn't get to sleep because he was imagining all the Quiditch games he'd win and all the Wizards Chess that he would lose", Ron laughed and Harry smiled.

' _Okay. You're okay. Ron saved you. You're okay.'_

Harry let out a breathe he didn't realize he was holding.

Mrs. Weasley looked unsatisfied overall but seemed to hold her tongue.

"Okay. Well just make sure you get more sleep tonight", Mrs. Weasley finally said.

Harry nodded in agreement, but he knew that probably wouldn't happen.

" Off we go!" Mr. Weasley said, waving his wand as they disappeared from Ms. Anthea's backyard and reappeared at platform nine and three quarters.

' _you're free. you're safe. Everything will be alright.' Harry tell himself._


	3. Out And Away

**I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS! I only own the plot. Some of these characters may be OOC(out of character)**.

 **S** ** _pecial Thanks:_** As always I want to send a special shout out of praise to **Disappearing kangaroo**. You should check out her awesome stories!

 **CHAPTER THREE:** ** _Out And Away_**

Harry was the last one through the wall and the last one to enter the train, his friends were waiting patiently inside.

Ron was complaining about how small the compartments were on the train, like he did every year. Harry didn't really mind how cramped it was because it was bigger than his cupboard under the stairs back at Privet Drive. He shuddered at the thought of that place and huddled himself closer to the corner of the room. He was sitting on the padded bench and he drew his knees up to his chest and just stared out the window as the train began to move. Harry watched as parents and relatives waved excitedly to the other passengers as the train left the station. Harry always wondered what that must be like, having people waving and wishing you luck for a grand year at Hogwarts as parents blew kisses to their children.

Sure Mrs. Weasley gave him hugs and such but it wasn't the same.

Harry blinked back tears and was ashamed of himself for having a such a weakness.

His thoughts drifted to darker and darker places and he didn't bother to fight it, he always lost anyway.

"Harry..."

"Harry wake up!"

Harry's eyes shot open and his hand dipped, instinctively into his pocket for his wand.

 _'What was Mr. Dursely going to do to him this time!'_ Harry wondered fearfully before he remembered that he wasn't at Privet Drive anymore.

' _Your safe. Your away and safe.'_ Harry looked up and saw Hermione looking at him suspicously.

" Were you having a nightmare?"

' _yes'_ Harry's mind said but Harry just shook his head.

" well okay. But anyway, you slept through the whole trip, we're at the school now."

Harry drew his brows together in confusion. He didn't remember falling asleep. And he definitely didn't _feel_ like he had gotten any sleep. Weird.

Harry just shrugged, in response. He stood up and realized that Ron- being the good friend that he is- had grabbed Harry's small bag and placed it next to Harry.

He thanked Ron and heaved a sigh of relief when he realized that if he had tried to reach up to get his bag on his own he would run the risk of his friends seeing the injuries on his stomach if his shirt lifted. Plus he had forgotten to wear his long sleeves and his upper forearm was badly bruised. He couldn't risk them seeing that.

By the time Harry had thought through all that could have happened, he had thouroughly worked himself into a near panic attack. His friends, however, didn't notice because his back was to them.

Harry forced himself to look calm, and walked out with his friends. He put all of his focus on leveling his breathing and tried to maintain his calm exterior.

 _'You're safe. You're safe and fine. Stay calm. In... Out... In... Out'._

Eventually he realised that he wasn't going to calm down anytime soon, he needed to get away from everyone.

Harry was about to explain that he needed to go talk to a professor but Ron spoke first.

"Wow! look at all that food!"

Harry was confused at first until he realised that they had made it to the dining hall. He barely even remembered walking here, he was tired and stuck in his thoughts again. He sighed to himself,

' _Im so pathetic! I can't even remember walking here!'_

"Ronald you always think with your stomach!" Hermione exclaimed. Harry put on a smile because that would be his usual reaction, but it felt wrong.

 _'I can't even smile right!'_

" Hey guys. I'll catch up with you later. I- I need to go see someone."

Before either of them could argue, Harry had bolted out into the crowd of students.

Harry looked back to make sure they weren't following him. This was his second year at Hogwarts and yet he was still skipping off, and leaving his friends behind.

 _'Just another bloody thing to add to the list of my stupidities. I wonder whats on my 'advantages' list?_ _I_ _have high pain tolerance...'_

Harry cringed, he didn't get that high pain tolerance in a good way.

Harry wandered, aimlessly, throughout the mostly empty halls, by now everyone was at the welcome back feast. Harry wanted to join but he just couldn't keep up the facade that he would need to put up.

He was so tired. He could go up to his room, he knew none of the professors would catch him since they would all be at the feast. But he didn't feel right in there. The room and bed was so much bigger than he was used to.

Harry found himself outside at Buckbeaks stable. Buckbeak was the first magical beast he had seen and he was very friendly, at least to Harry. The Hippogriff came forward and Harry bowed to her waiting for her to bow back. Once Buckbeak bowed, as they usually did, Harry went up to pet her.

"How are you doing, girl? You hungry?" Harry fetched a dead possum from a bin near the door and let Buckbeak take it from his hand. Buckbeak pawed the ground, appreciatively.

Harry smiled,

"You're welcome, girl"

They stood in silence for a little while before a hand on Harry's shoulder made him nearly jump out of his skin and flinch violently.

Harry prepared for a beating before he, once again, remembered he was safe. Harry turned around to see a concerned looking Dumbledore.

"Harry, are you alright?"

Harry composed himself,

"Hello professor. Yes, i'm fine, you just gave me a scare. I'm very sorry professor!" Harry said, realising that the professor might be mad that Harry had jumped.

" No need to apologise my boy. What are you doing out here? You should be inside enjoying the feast." the professor seemed to study Harry for a moment.

" Oh... Yes I will professor. I just wanted to see Buckbeak. I missed him."

It wasn't a _total_ lie. He _did_ miss Buckbeak but he definitely didn't plan on going to the feast.

 _'Drats! I hate lying to the professor. I hate lying, period.'_

Harry, somehow, managed a smile to reassure the professor, it seemed to work.

"Very well then, Harry, you may accompany me back to the feast." Dumbledore didn't wait for a reply, he just started leisurely walking up to the school.

' _Now what? I can't handle going back in there!'_

Harry had an urge to bust Buckbeak out of her stable and fly away with her.

"umm actually sir I was also hoping I could talk to you"

 _Drats! what now? I have nothing to talk to him about._

"Very well. We can go back to my office, then."

Harry didn't say anything as they made their way to Professor Dumbledor's office. Harry was deep in thought.

 _'He had to come up with an excuse. What could he talk to the Professor about? Classes? No, the professor would be suspicious if Harry asked about that because Harry never talked about it before. Then what does he talk about?'_

"So, I assume you want to talk to me about the new replacement for _Defence Against The Dark Arts_ teacher?" Dumbledor asked, once they were in his office.

Harry clung to the question,

"Yes! That's exactly what I wanted to ask about", Harry said eagerly, trying to surpress the wince caused by his ribs. Dumbledore studied the boy for a moment. He noticed how much skinnier the boy is now, his shirt hung off of him even more than last year. He also looked very sickly and pale, as if he never got outside or had a good meal over the summer. But what alarmed Professor Dumbledore the most was Harry's eyes:

They looked like all the hope and laughter had been squashed out of him, so alone. but he also looked like he was hiding so much more than that. Harry's eyes were just so mournful and sad, almost dead...

"Sir?"

Dumbledore was snapped out of his thoughts at the boy's hesistant question.

"Yes yes sorry I am very tired. But, in answer to your question, professor Lupin will be the new _Defence Against The Dark Arts_ teacher this year. And professor Snape, the original teacher, will be taking over _Potions_ class. That should be interesting...", Dumbledore said smiling.

Harry smiled back but it was a feeble attempt.

"Thankyou sir. Sorry for bothering you and making you leave the feast and asking you pointless questions and-", Harry ranted but was cut off by Dumbledore,

"Calm down my dear boy. No need for apologies. I assure you I do not mind. And it wasn't a pointless question. Understand?"

Harry nodded even though he still felt guilty.

"Good. Now was that your only question?"

Dumbledore studied the nervous boy.

"Yes sir. That was all", Harry stood up and went to the door but hesitated before leaving.

"Sir?", Harry asked again.

 _"Don't you dare ask! He'll get suspicious! You ask every year, eventually he'll catch on! Besides you deserve what you get.'_

"Yes Harry"

Harry hesistated again.

"I... was just wondering, umm. Do you think I could stay here over the summer?"

Harry regretted it the minute it left his mouth. Now Dumbledore will get upset that Harry asked again and that he bothered him.

 _Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut?!'_

Once again Dumbledore studied Harry. He asked every year, why would he want to stay here. Sure being in the muggle world wasn't great but surely he had more friends there than being stuck at a mostly empty school... he certainly wouldn't have Hermione or Ron because they would be at home. So why would Harry always ask about staying here? Didn't Harry know how dangerous it was to be away from the blood wards provided at Privet Drive?

"Im sorry Harry but we simply can't take that kind of risk. You would be in danger the entire summer. Besides, wouldn't you rather hang out with your muggle friends instead of being cooped up in a school with no one to talk to? Why do you always want to stay here?"

' _IM IN DANGER AT HOME TOO!'_ Harry nearly screamed.

"I... I j-just like the school", Harry answered quietly. Harry couldn't meet the professor's eyes so instead he just looked down at the floor, he felt like a child in trouble.

" Sorry lad. I just can't let you stay here."

" Yes sir. I understand. It really isn't a big deal. Sorry for asking again and bothering you."

Harry opened the door and fled the room before the professor could say anything else. He made it back to his room and started to pace. The more he thought about the conversation, the more anxious and angry and hopeless he felt.

 _His life was spiraling downwords out of control. What was he going to do? He was panicing on a daily basis and he was in so much pain now._

 _ **Thankyou for reading.**_

 **Sorry about the wait**


	4. Dying Inside

**I do not own these characters! characters may also be slightly OOC (Out Of Character).**

 **S _pecial Thanks:_** As always I want to thank my wonderful friend "she -whom- shall- not- be named" but she is called **Disappearing Kangaroo!** please check out her awesome stories!

 **Chapter** **Four: _Dying Insi_** ** _de_**

" _I am going to kill you! You worthless waste of space! Come back here!" Harry ran away from his drunk and angry uncle._

 _"Please sir! I didn't do it on purpose, I swear", Harry had been asked to get his uncle another beer-which this was his sixth pack- and Harry was exhausted and still in a lot of pain from a beating he took just moments ago. Harry brought the beer back to his uncle and it slipped from his shaky, bloody grasp when his uncle tried to grab Harry's arm. Harry watched in pure terror as the beer hit the floor, shattering into big chunks and the acrid smell of the liquor filling the room. That's when his uncle went beserk._

 _Mr. Dursely grabbed Harry by his hair and slammed his head, violently, on the coffee table. Before Harry could move again, he was picked up and thrown onto the table where he felt his shirt being ripped off but he was in to much pain to do anything. Harry could hear muffled noises and realized what was about to happen, his pants slowly got unzipped and he closed his eyes tight knowing that the worst beating of his life was about to come..._

" Hey! Harry! Harry wake up! Please!"

"Harry?!"

"Wake up!"

Harry groaned, still expecting the pain to come.

"He's waking up! Thank merlin"

" P-please...", Harry tried to speak but failed, he was still half in his dream, half out.

"What is it Harry? What's wrong?", a voice that sounded like Hermione asked.

"Shh give him a minute. He just bloody woke up", a voice that was definitely Ron, snapped.

"Whe-Where am I?" Harry's eyes were still closed. He was to exhausted and scared to open them.

"You're in the Infirmary. We found you passed out in your room on the floor."

Suddenly Harry remembered all the worries that had been knawing at him before he blacked out. And the dream he had just had, it was a memory from a few months ago and it still scared him.

"why did I black out?"

"Well the nurse says you are extremely malnurished and exhausted. But, Harry, there was something wrong before this ever happened. What's going on?"

Harry froze, his mind going blank and his face paling more than he thought possible. He couldn't think of what to say to get himself out of this mess.

"I-I..."

"Harry?", Hermione questioned, studying Harry's shaking hands and pained face.

Harry was starting to panic, he was thinking of everything that was going to happen if they found out the truth...

 _You would be stared at like the freak you are! They would criticize him for letting it happen. They would send you back to Privet Drive and tell you not to come back! But is it such a bad thing to go back? sure it would be painful, physically and emotionally, but he does deserve it... and its getting really hard to handle everything here_ _. How much longer does he think he can keep this secret?_

"I got the... flu... yeah I got really sick and couldn't eat much. It's a muggle thing, I guess", Harry said, not looking up.

 _'please believe it. Please believe it!'_

His friends were silent for a minute.

"Wow. Im glad I don't get the flu. But Harry, you're a wizard, how did you get sick?"Ron asked in curiosity. Harry sighed in relief, they believed him.

"I spend so much time in the muggle world, since i'm there all summer. Its easy to get it, even wizards", Harry didn't mention the fact that it is almost impossible to get the flu in the summer, it is usually contracted in the winter times when everyone else is sick too.

"Yeah I suppose that makes sense. Sorry your sick Harry", Hermione said.

"Im not that sick anymore", then Harry saw his chance to cover every problem that they might see as suspicious, so he quickly acted on it;

"I am still very sore though, that's part of what a flu does, so I may not be hugging you very often", that was really just an excuse so they don't rub up on the welts on his body.

"I also still can't eat much... it still makes me more sick", Harry says, as an after thought, knowing that it would give him a reason for not being at the feasts.

"We understand Harry. Sorry we jumped at you", Hermione apologized and Ron nodded his agreement.

"You don't need to apologize", Harry made a move to get up, but he forgot that he had to sit up a certain way to avoid hurting his ribs. He gasped and hid his wince just in time. His friends, who had started making their way to the door, glanced back but were reassured at Harry's smile that he put on for them.

 _'I can't stay here much longer. What do I do?'_

Harry mumbled some excuse about being tired and he rushed back to his room while his friends went to the feast for breakfast. Harry knew as he laid down that he wasn't going to sleep and that he had to get to class in an hour. As he thought back over everything that had been worrying him, the dread returned.

 _'What if they find out? What if they see the scars and bruises? What if they try to help me? what if the don't try to help me?'_

Harry, at that moment, wished that the floor would swallow him up, making him nonexistant. Harry sighed as he looked at the clock and realized he had been in his head for forty-five minutes. Harry rolled out of bed and forced himself to get up. He got himself ready and spent five minutes staring at the mirror making sure his long sleeves covered everything and that the welts on his shoulders were well hidden.

 _'How did it come to this?'_

Harry went to class and it was all a big blur, no matter how hard he tried to concentrate. In fact, he was a little alarmed when lunch came because he didn't remember any of the five classes he just had.

He only had two classes after lunch: _Potions_ class with Professor Snape and _Defense Against The Dark Arts_ with Professor Lupin. Then, of course, he had Quiditch after school.

He dreaded the Potions class because he knew Snape hated him. He tried everything to not irritate the Professor but it seemed like that only aggravated him more. There were times where Snape would come very close to Harry to talk to Harry when he was angry at him. And no matter how hard he tried to surpress it, he always flinched. Though, logically, he knew Snape would never actually hurt him. Harry also knew that this made Snape hate him more, Because Harry was a weak and scared child who was afraid of his teacher!

 _'Jeez im pathetic! This is ridiculous. No wonder the Dursley's do what they do...'_

Harry sighed.

"Harry... Harry!"

"Earth to Harry"

Harry looked up as he heard his name and saw Ron and Hermione looking at him with confusion and concern.

 _'Crap! Now what did I do?'_

"y-yeah", Harry tried not to studder but he couldn't stop it. He was so tired and, now that he thought about it, he was getting hungry.

"Harry we have been trying to get your attention for ten minutes. You are late for Snape's class", they gave him a pitying look.

"Do you need to go back to the hospital wing?"

Dread filled Harry's stomach and all thought of food left him.

"wait what happened to lunch?"

Harry wasn't going to lunch anyway but still he didn't even remember anything about it.

Ron and Hermione shared a concerned look with eachother before looking back at Harry.

"Harry... you said you didn't want to go to lunch. That you were going to take a nap and that you already ate. You don't remember?"

Harry froze, he didn't remember any of that! and he was late for class... Snape's class.

Snape was going to be so mad. And the Potions essay that Harry had worked on all summer would do nothing to make Snape less angry now. Harry had hoped the essay would help make Snape less bitter with him.

"Harry?"

 _Drats! He had gotten lost in his thoughts again._

"No no I remember saying that. I was just tired."

Harry stood up quickly but got light headed and paused. His friends, thankfully, didn't see it because they were talking to eachother.

" I need to get to class. I'll catch you guys later", Harry was, yet again, out the door before anyone could say a word in objection.

 _'Another one added to my stupidities. My friends don't deserve this. They deserve so much better. I don't belong here... Should i leave? Go back to the Dursley's and let them finish him off.'_

" Potter! You're late", Snape slammed the stick down on the nearest table as Harry walked into the classroom.

Harry flinched.

 _'Please don't hurt me!_ ', Harry thought and then immediatly realised that he deserved it and how pathetic he sounded.

 _'You deserve to get hit',_ his mind challenged.

While Harry was panicing and staring at the stick in Snape's hands, Snape was studying Harry,

 _'Great Merlin, Harry looked awful. He's sickly pale, scaringly thin and looked utterly terrified. Had Harry always looked this way? Surely Harry had never looked THIS bad, right? He never actually looked very healthy and he always was very jumpy but this was nerve-racking.'_ Snape's thoughts were going a mile a minute trying to figure out what was wrong with Harry.

 _Snape decided to do a quick- and secret -diagnostic on Harry later when he continued class. Snape was worried about the boy, yet he still held so much content against him after what Harry's wretched father did to... no! Don't think about that now. Besides, it wasn't Harry's fault.'_

"S-sir?"

Snape snapped out of his thoughts and realised the boy had been talking.

"What?" Snape's voice came out with more venom than intended and saw the boy flinch again and his eyes glanced from the stick and settled on the floor, no longer able to look at Snape without showing fear.

"I-I said I w-was sorry, sir... for being late to your class."

Snape was surprised but hid it well.

"why were you late, Mr. Potter?"

Harry considered telling him the truth but he knew Snape wouldn't care that he was in the hospital.

"I... was fooling about. Didn't pay attention to the clock."

Snape knew he was lying immediatly, Harry wouldn't look Snape in the eyes.

"My office. After class. understood?"

"Y-Yes sir", Harry mumbled as he shuffled to his seat. Draco was all too happy to mock Harry from his seat behind him. Throughout the whole class time, Harry was victim to Draco's verbal torment. Usually Harry doesn't even bother listening to him but, in Harry's unstable mindset, he heard every word and even started to believe what Draco said.

 _'I brought this on myself.'_


	5. Going Back(5)

**I Do not own these characters! Characters may be slightly OOC(Out Of Character).**

 **Special Thanks:** As always I want to thank my wonderful friend and gifted writer…(drum roll please) **Disappearing** **Kangaroo!**

 **Chapter** **Five** : _Going_ _Back_?

"Bloody fool, you are, Potter!"

"What? Got no clever words to say? What a worthless wimp", Draco continued.

Harry would have laughed at how similar Draco and Mr. Dursley were, in regards to their insults, but Harry was too busy trying to concentrate on the class assignment. It was a group activity but since Hermione and Ron weren't in this class, he worked alone, no one else would work with him. He would have worked alone even if his friends had been in the same class, he just couldn't handle being around anyone right now.

" what's the matter potter? Finally realised no one likes you?" Draco taunted when he saw that Harry was working alone in the corner. Harry ignored him and continued writing the essay.

' _What was Professor Snape going to say when Harry met him in his office? Detention? Was he going to curse me?'_

Harry shuddered at the thought of it.

' _Just get it over with. It's your own bloody fault anyway! You're the one who passed out and after that you let yourself get so lost in thought that you don't even remember any of your classes! You deserve whatever he does to you.'_

" Are you deaf, potter?", Draco snapped.

Harry flinched at the words practically being spat in his face. He didn't even know Draco had been talking.

Harry glared instead of answering.

" Don't give me that look! You filthy bottomfeeder."

Harry still didn't say anything.

' _Go away please… I can't get in anymore trouble'_

While Harry was busy freaking out and silently wishing Draco would leave, Snape had looked up from his work when he heard talking and saw that it was Draco again.

He watched as Draco taunted Harry, then Draco got out of his seat to personally insult Harry.To Snape's surprise, Harry didn't react to it. He didn't even acknowledge that Draco was there. At first Snape thought that Harry was simply ignoring him, but then he realised that Harry seriously didn't hear Draco.

' _What could that boy possibly be thinking about that allowed him to drift off so far in his mind? The essay in front of Harry is nearly done though, so at least he is working'_

Speaking of work… it was about time that Draco got back to his seat. Snape cleared his throat and waited until Draco and Harry looked up. Draco, as usual, had a smirk on his face as if he knew everything there was to know in the world. But Harry, his expression was drastically different, Harry had gone pale and looked at the professor with fear and guilt, as if he blamed himself for Draco getting in his way and disturbing Snape.

' _Before Snape could stop himself, He felt bad for Harry. This boy just looks so tired, those bags under his eyes are terrible. And he is just so jumpy and I don't know why. It's almost as if he was-'_

"Professor?"

Snape looked up to see the class looking at him expectantly.

Why? Oh, the bell rang. Of course.

"You all know your homework. Dismissed. Potter you stay behind."

"Yes, sir", Harry obliged.

Snape couldn't help but notice how… dead Harry looked.

' _Just void of all hope and life, so scared and alone…_ '

"Are you going to tell me?", Snape asked the boy once they were alone.

Harry looked up at his professor, he looked confused.

"Sir?"

" Tell me why you were late to my class."

Harry paled at that.

"S-sir I umm. I-I already told you what happened, sir.", Harry was utterly terrified. Snape knew he was lying, and he was mad.

" I'm not daft, potter. You lied. Tell me the truth."

Harry- with a look of sadness- nodded his head.

" I was in the hospital wing this morning."

At Snape's hand motion to tell him more Harry said:

" I-I apparently passed out or something and when I woke up I was very tired and I wasn't paying attention even though I know I-I should have been. I tried, I really tried to stay focused, I swear I did. But, i'm stupid and I couldn't do it. I'm sorry, sir. I-"

Harry had worked himself into a near panic, his breathing becoming more and more erratic with every word he gasped out. He looked like he was ready to pass out again.

"Mr. Potter… you are fine. You told me the truth. Why did you lie?"

"I k-knew you wouldn't care about that. And I know it is just an excuse to getting out of trouble and I didn't want to give you an excuse-"

" you being in the hospital is a perfectly logical reason. Not an excuse."

"But it was this morning! So it didn't interfere with me getting to your class.", Harry argued, miserably.

 _He truly believed that he should be in trouble for this,_ Snape realised sadly, _AND he thought that I don't care about him being in the hospital! Have I really been that mean to him?_

"Potter…", Snape hesitated not sure how to say it, "Harry… I don't- it's not… I do care that you were in the hospital. Why would you think I don't?"

It was Harry's turn to hesitate. He was scared that Snape would be mad at him if he told him why.

"I don't know… why would you?"

Snape was taken aback at Harry's words. The words sounded so sorrowful that even Snape was speechless.

" what do you mean?"

The professor could see Harry's hesitation to say anything. Clearly the boy thought that Snape would get mad if he told the truth.

" I mean, y-you don't even like me, sir… n-no matter w-what I do, it only makes you h-hate me more. I tried so hard but I know i'm an annoying, pest who keeps making you angrier and angrier every day and-"

" Enough Mr. Potter!...", Snape sighed at the look of sadness on Harry's face.

' _Why does he believe all of these lies?'_

" Harry… you are a boy, you're supposed to annoy me. But you are not a pest. I don't hate you", the boy clearly didn't believe Snape.

"I hated your father, Harry. And you come to this school looking and acting so much like him, it was a shock. And I didn't handle it like I should have, and for that I am deeply sorry."

" Why did you hate him?", Harry asked, it seemed his curiosity overpowered his fear for a second before the fear returned, "If you want to tell me! I'm sorry I-I d-didn't mean t-to be nosy, sir". Harry looked like he was about to run out the door.

"No no Harry you're fine. I don't mind you asking. Afterall, he was your father so you have a right to know about him, and your mother for that matter."

Harry seemed confused at this and maybe a little disbelieving.

"I do?"

"Of course. Don't the Dursley's tell you about them?"

Harry paled slightly but then before Snape could do anything Harry's face became blank of all emotion,

" Yes, sir. All the time", came Harry's emotionless reply. Snape studied Harry for a few minutes in silence, he didn't like the reaction Harry gave him.

' _Drats! Snape knows i'm lying to him. But it wasn't a total lie, the Dursley's do tell him about his parents, how much the Dursleys hated them anyway. How much of a freak they were, how they made a worthless son. And how disappointed my parents were of me.'_

Harry shook off these thoughts and waited for Snape to reply. The professor seemed lost in thought.

" P-professor?"

" Oh yes sorry."

"No need to apologize, sir. You didn't do anything wrong"

"So how about after your classes you come to my office and we can talk. How about that? I'll tell you about what happened between your father and I. Then you can ask the questions I know you'll have."

Harry looked at him warily, as if he expected Snape to laugh at him or hurt him.

'What has gotten into this boy? He acts like i'm going to beat him!'

"Really?" Harry questioned suspiciously, Snape could here the hope in his voice.

"I said so, didn't I?" was Snape's reply.

Harry thought about it then nodded slowly.

" Good. Then i'll see you tonight."

"Y-yes, sir… but umm… Sir?"

" yes?" Snape replied.

" aren't I in trouble… for being late to your class and talking to Malfoy?"

"We already talked about why you were late and I excused you because being in the hospital is a good reason. And, as I recall, you didn't talk to Draco. Actually, I don't even think you were listening to him most of the time. Am I correct?"

" well yes sir. But, I still should have done something."

"Like what, Mr. Potter?... What could you have possibly done to stop Draco from talking to you?"

" I could have been less of a whimp. I shouldn't have gotten stuck in my head like I always do at the worst of times! I should have been paying attention to what was going on! I should have-"

 _Snape didn't think that Harry even realised he was saying all this out loud. It was almost like Harry had forgotten Snape was here and was talking to himself. Harry's voice got more frustrated as he talked and Snape knew he needed to stop him._

" Harry, stop!", Harry flinched at the Professor's tone, " none of that would have worked and you know it. None of that is even true."

Harry gazed down at the floor, ashamed of himself for saying all that out loud.

 _'You fool! You bloody, stupid, fool! What were you thinking? Saying all that in front of the professor! He'll know how weak you are now and will hate you.'_

" I-I'm sorry, S-sir! I d-didn't mean it, I swear! I'm sorry!"

"Calm yourself Harry. You're working yourself into a panic again. You're not in trouble. Now here's a hall pass. Get to your next class and i'll see you tonight."

Harry left with his head down. He slowly trudged down the hall to his final class of the day: Defense Against The Dark Arts, taught by a nice, cheery man named Professor Lupin.

But, Harry knew, that Professor Lupin had a secret. And it took a while for Harry to figure out what it was. But when he did, he wasn't too surprised. His professor was a werewolf. A good werewolf though. Harry never told anyone about it, and professor Lupin didn't even know that Harry knew.

And Harry planned to keep it that way.

Now all he had to do was make it through today.


	6. Lost And Alone

**I don't own these characters. Characters are slightly OOC(Out Of Character).** _as usual i will thank my awesome friend **Disappearing Kangaroo.** please check out her stories._ _ **Chapter Six:** Lost And Afraid._It took Harry less than two weeks, four trips to the library, and one invisibility cloak, to figure out that Professor Lupin was a werewolf.

Which is why Harry always saved an extra tray of food for Professor Lupin because, during those trips to the library, Harry learned a lot about werewolves. And one of those things was that werewolves ate a lot. Because shifting into wolf form burns a lot of calories fast so they need to eat. And Harry always saw the professor leave the lunch hall early so he knew he had to still be hungry. So Harry would sneak a tray of food onto his professor's desk before class. But this year Harry hadn't been able to do that because Harry hasn't been to the feast hall in a while.

Harry walked into the Professor's class, ten minutes late. These students were nicer, aside from Draco, who Harry pointedly ignored.

"Ah Harry! What a pleasure it is for you to join us. We were just going to do a little experiment with a creature."

" S-sorry professor Lupin. I had to talk to Professor Snape.", Harry said as he handed him the slip from Professor Snape.

" quite alright Harry. Take your seat as I explain the instructions.

"Yes, sir."

" what we are going to look at today is a Boggart. Who can tell me what a Boggart is?"

No one answered. Hermione had changed her schedule so now she had this class in the morning. No one, besides her, knew the answer.

"Well then. A Boggart is part of the Dark Creatures category. The reason we are talking about it here instead of in your _care_ _of_ _magical_ _creatures_ class is because if you happen to see one… you will be in danger. And I have to show you how to defend yourself against it.

A Boggart takes the form of your greatest fear. It can do you the same harm that the real version of your fear can do if you don't know how to stop it. So I will be letting you use a spell… on a Boggart."

The class went wild. A bunch of murmuring spread throughout the classroom and Professor Lupin watched it all in amusment. He looked at all the classmates and noticed only one of them wasn't talking: Harry Potter.

' _Harry Potter was a very smart and kind boy. Very well mannered. Turns in all of his work. But he rarely spoke unless he was pressed into talking. He rarely lets himself relax, he is always tense. The calmest I have ever seen Harry is when he is with one the magical creatures that Hagrid owns or when he is flying around on his broom stick.'_

But even then he is pretty stiff.

 _The poor boy looks so tired and very very skinny, skinnier than he has ever been. And I heard he was in the hospital this morning. I wonder what happened. Why is Harry here so soon after getting out? He had planned to go see Harry in the hospital after classes were over._ _Well I guess i'll ask him about it after class.'_

"Alright alright class. That's enough gossip, I should think", he said with a smile, " if the class will please gather in the corner of the room over there", he instructed, pointing to an empty corner.

The class got up and went over there, standing in silent anticipation. Harry was standing slightly apart from the crowd but not so much that it would be obvious. He was also partly in the shadows which he knew, from experience, made you less likely to be seen first and less likely to be picked. So, hopefully, he wouldn't have to go at all because he doubted that the Professor even remembered Harry.

' _You aren't very memorable, after all.',_ Harry's mind taunted. Harry just rolled his eyes.

" _Thanks Sherlock. What would I do without you?_ ", Harry whispered, sarcastically to his mind.

' _You do realise you're arguing with your mind, right? You're basically talking to yourself.'_

"Shut up!", Harry whispered, fiercely.

' _make me_ ', came his mind's response. This was ridiculous, he was arguing with himself!

" So when your Boggart forms, you will say the spell 'Riddikulus'. But you have to say it clearly or it won't work!... Any questions?"

The class shook their heads. Harry leaned against the wall in the shadows with his arms crossed loosely, it sometimes made his ribs feel a little better.

A boy in his third year was first up. He came up to the closet that held the Boggart and took out his wand.

The professor put his hand on the handle of the closet and nodded to the student. He pulled the door open and stepped out of the way, but Harry noticed that Professor Lupin had his wand out as well and looked alert.

A black fog crept out of closet and formed into an orb in front of the boy. For a second, the orb did nothing then, it took the form of a Phoenix. Harry didn't blame him for that being his fear. Phoenixes were mean when they felt threatened and are known to grab their meal and drop it from the sky to kill it.

The boy stepped back at first but then looked down at his wand and realised he could defend himself.

" _Riddikulus_ " the boy shouted. The Phoenix then turned into a small horse with bows in it's mane and sparkly hooves. The class laughed with the boy as the horse took form of the black orb again.

What no one noticed, besides Professor Lupin, was that Snape had walked in and silently watched everything unfold, including Harry. Lupin seemed to understand what Snape was doing, so he didn't point out Snape.

Many more people went after that and there were a lot of different fears: spiders, bugs, birds, Professor Snape, dogs and many more.

But then, as they were wrapping up and about to go back to their seats, Professor Lupin noticed Harry come out from behind everyone and out of the shadows. Professor Lupin was startled, for a moment, at how good Harry was at blending in with the shadows. Then he felt guilty for forgetting about Harry.

"Oops i'm sorry Harry. You haven't gotten your turn, have you? Well let's do that now"

Harry froze as the class turned to stare at him.

"Come on, right over here", The professor encouraged.

Harry paled a little bit as he went forward to face his Boggart.

' _What is his Boggart? Voldemort? A dementor? Snape?'_ sadly his mind didn't truly believe that any of those were his greatest fear. Harry's hand shook slightly more than usual as he took out his wand.

Professor Lupin did not like the look on Harry's face, at all. Lupin looked over at Snape for any sign of what he should do. Snape made eye contact with Lupin and shook his head slightly. That meant not to let Harry face the Boggart. Lupin was about to tell Harry that he didn't have time and could maybe face it another day but it was too late.

The orb took shape and slowly the image of a big man came into view. The man was blurry for some reason so no one could tell exactly who it was. But Harry knew.

The man yelled out in anger,

" you foolish freak! I'll teach you what happens to freaks who steal!"

The blurry man's hand raised and Harry stood there, petrified.

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again", Harry whispered, preparing himself for the blow.

"I'll give you what you deserve", came Mr. Dursely's angry threat.

The blow came down on Harry but it never hit him.

Harry opened his eyes slowly. He realised he had put his arms up to cover his face and had crouched down in a defense position.

He looked up and saw that his uncle was gone. And so were the students. There were only two people left in the room: Professor Snape and Professor Lupin.

Harry saw the look on their faces and almost wished that his uncle had finished him off.

" Harry... We need to talk"

 **Thankyou guys so much for your patience! I hope this is satisfying until i can get the next one out. Thanks.**


	7. Downhill Fall (08-30 06:58:32)

**I don't own these characters. They may be slightly OOC(Out Of Character) deal with it ;-)** _As usual let me thank my brilliant friend for it all. Give her a round of applause folks! **Disa**_ ** _ppearing Kangaroo._**

 ** _Chapter Seven:_** _Downhill fall_

"Harry... We need to talk"

Harry stared at them, he was still half in the memory of what happened and was slowly coming back to reality, as the initial shock wore off.

" Harry? you're shaking, calm down. we aren't going to hurt you", Professor Lupin said calmly.

He got up and came over to Harry who flinched back violently when Lupin laid a hand, gently, on Harry's back.

Lupin shared a look with Snape. Harry's flinch just confirmed what they had both discussed while Harry was crouched down for the past half hour:

Both Lupin and Snape had banished the _Boggart_ at the same time and then Harry fell down, and they quickly dismissed the class.

They couldn't get Harry to respond so they let him calm down on his own.

 **(conversation while Harry was calming down)**

" _What the Hell just happened, Severus? Who could Harry be so desperately afraid of?_ "

 _" I do not know. But the Boggart came out blurry which would mean that whatever just happened was also something that happened to Harry in the past. So, whoever that is, they called him a freak for stealing something, then went to beat him. It is clear by Harry's reaction that the man had succeed in hurting him in the past", Snape stated, clearly deep in thought._

 _"This clearly didn't happen on school grounds. And the man appeared to be a muggle... why would Harry be so afraid of him?"_

Neither one of the two professors wanted to think about the obvious answer to that question, the answer that would explain everything that they found odd with Harry.

That is when Harry finally came out of his shock.

 ** _(Present time)_**

Professor Lupin didn't want Harry to flinch again so he decided it was best to just sit next to him.

"Harry, can you come over to the table for a moment?"

Harry didn't answer, at first. He just stared blankly at the spot where the _Boggart_ had been. Then he nodded, slightly.

Professor Lupin stood up and, without thinking, put his hand out for Harry to use to get up.

Harry yelped but held still.

Harry knew that moving away from a hit would only make him get a worse beating later so he stayed where he was, though he couldn't contain the noise of fear.

Professor Lupin withdrawled his hand and moved to go sit next to Snape.

Harry, timidly, got up and, when he did so, he winced. It was clear that he was in pain which didn't ease Snape and Lupin' fears.

He slowly made his way to the chair and sat down across from Snape and Lupin. He wouldn't look up at them and he was sitting with his back straight at the edge of his seat, looking like he was ready to bolt.

" We aren't going to hurt you. We just have questions. You are safe", Snape assured.

Harry nodded but it was clear that he didn't believe it.

"Do you know who that man was?"

"A _Boggart_ ", was Harry's vague reply.

"Well yes. Thankyou we know that. But who did the _Boggart_ become? you knew who it was."

Harry shrugged.

"Harry... You have to tell us. We can't help you until you tell us something. Its important."

"I don't need help. Im fine". They could tell that Harry was forcing his voice to sound impartial, which was a talent Harry learned while at Privet Drive. He knew that if he didn't have hope, sadness, anger, fear, or any other emotion in his voice, he could sometimes avoid a severe punishment... Not always though.

"Yes, I have noticed that you always _say_ your fine... but Harry, you aren't. You were terrified of that man. He is your darkest fear.

"We are no longer _asking_ you to tell us...Tell us now! Can't you see that _we_ aren't the one's who want to hurt you? We are here to help you! so tell us!", Snape shouted before he could stop himself. He was very worried about Harry and he had planned to express that but, obviously, it came out like he was angry, but he wasn't.

"The _Boggart_ was wrong! He isn't my fear! Leave me alone!", Harry got up to run away and he ran to the window.

 _He couldn't handle any of this he needed to get out. And since he knew they would never let him get to the door, he ran for the window, already formulating a plan to get away.Then he could go back to Privet Drive and they would finish him off..._

He shuddered at that last thought.

He got to the window and he saw Snape and Lupin grabbing their wands.

 _'and i almost believed they wouldn't hurt me'_

 _"Expelliarmus",_ Harry shouts and Snape's wand flies from his hand.

 _"Avis!",_ Harry screams and birds fly from his wand, momentarily blocking their eyesight.

" _Wingardium Leviosa",_ Harry shouts at a winged statue and the statue flies straight for the window, breaking the glass. Harry looks back, saddened by all he was about to lose. He could never come back here.

Harry jumps out the window shouting spells,

 _"Reparo!",_ the window is repaired so he can have a head start,

 _"Protego",_ and a defensive force field surrounds Harry, protecting him from most spells.

Harry looks up and grabs the statue as he falls and the statue supports his weight.

Harry tells it to take him to the Dursely's and it starts to fly off. But then the statue explodes into dust and Harry begins to fall.

" _Repa-",_ Harry starts the fixing spell but then he finds that he can't speak anymore. His mouth opens and closes, repeating the spell over and over again but no sound comes out.

In Harry's mind he realises that someone must have cast the silencing spell on him after they cast ' _Intermissio'_ a spell that means ' to break' which is exactly what happened to his statue.

 _'Who would do that, though? Bloody hell Who cares who did it! you're falling! Do something!_

Harry calmed himself down a little bit and managed to look around him as his surroundings zipped by him as he spiralled towards the ground.

He reached out and grabbed at a tree branch but he was going to fast and it sliced a gash through his hand. He tried speaking again but it was useless.

 _'Well it looks like I won't have to wait for the Dursley's to finish me off...', he thought sadly as the ground came closer and closer._

He closed his eyes and braced himself for impact. He wasn't afraid, in fact he almost welcomed it... Finally.

 **I am experimenting with cliffhangers and, I must say, I am proud of this one (evil laugh). So what do you guys think?**

 **I love reviews.**

 **and im sorry for the short chapter. I will work on making the next one longer, hopefully. Thanks.**


	8. Ging Back To Hell

**I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS. They, also, might be slightly OOC (Out Of Character).** _This shout out is to my very special friend who was always there in my time of need. And now, my dear friend, I want to be there for you. I love you_.

 _xoxo **Disappearing Kangaroo** xoxo_

 _(Y'all need to check out her stories)_

 ** _Chapter Eight:_** _Going Back To Hell._

Harry felt a brief bolt of pain that started at his head and consumed the rest of his body before he blacked out.

 _'Am i finally dead?'_

Harry shifted slightly. He wasn't able to find the strength to open his eyes no matter how hard he tried.

' _I didn't realise death would be so painful'_

As Harry became more and more awake and the numb, groginess that sleep gives you began to fade away, he felt a sharp throbbing in his head and his whole body ached like he just took a beating from Privet Drive.

Harry groaned in pain before he could stop himself.

' _Did anyone hear me?',_ Harry wondered fearfully.

Merlin, he was in a lot of pain! But, unfortunatly, Harry knew how to deal with it and hid it very well. He spent most of his life in pain.

A lot of times, when Harry would finally get to Hogwarts after a horribly long summer, he could still feel the pain from either a cracked rib or welts that crisscrossed his back, stomach, shoulders, and legs. Most of the time, the pain lasted well into the end of the year when Harry was forced to go back to the Dursely's.

 _'What do I do? Do i just lay here? I don't even know where I am?'_

Harry decided to lay still and quiet until he could either hear something, or at least gain the strength to open his eyes.

Harry focused through the pain as he tried to listen to his surroundings.

There was the sound of a door opening and feet walking smoothly over-

 _'maybe its tile? or wood flooring?'_

and the feet stopped right next to him on his left.

Harry was freaking out. He was so terrified, that his muscles just froze as he knew that a beating was coming... but it never came.

"How long have you been here, Padfoot?" a mysterious, but familiar, voice asked.

" Since he passed out"

Harry nearly jumped at a voice coming from the right side of him. Harry wasn't aware that there had been someone else in the room the whole time.

"Have you eaten? Slept? Please, at least, tell me you took care of yourself instead of just sitting here for 36 hours straight!"

 _'I've been asleep for 36 hours?'_

" I couldn't leave him. At one point Harry became consious and he was just sleeping, and the doctor and I thought it would be fine. but then he started having a night terror and it was a horrible one at that. He was terrified. So we had to sedate him again. I couldn't leave him after that, Moony." This voice sounded familiar, as well

Harry could hear the other man, presumably named Moony, sigh heavily.

"Alright, I get it. You're worried about him. I understand. But what do you think he'll see when he wakes up? He'll see a man with long hair, dark bags under his eyes, heavy stubble, dirty clothes and too tired to stand up! He's going to freak out... Padfoot, look he doesn't know you yet. You need to stay calm and _look_ calm otherwise you'll scare him."

The man, named Padfoot, was silent for a while.

"Alright i'll go clean myself up back at the mansion. But only if you promise to stay here and not leave him alone!"

"Don't worry. He'll be safe."

Harry heard shuffling and knew it was the two men switching places. He heard a scratching noise, which he realised was a chair being moved, up to where he lay.

The man, who he assumed was Padfoot, left to go and clean himself up. While the other man sat down in the chair.

The man sighed,

"Oh, Harry you have _got_ to wake up soon. Padfoot is going to drive me crazy. He's worried sick about you... i am too but i know you'll pull through. You always were the toughest kid I knew. I just wish we had known about this sooner so we could have done something _before_ this happened. Please wake up soon... _please_."

Harry had the urge to sit up and comfort this poor man.

' _How dare I make this nice guy worry so much! He's worried about me and I don't even know him. And that other man, Padfoot, he sat here for 36 hours and didn't leave when I had a night terror. I don't deserve it, im not worth it, yet they stayed for me!_

A tear leaked out of Harry's eyes as the guilt became to much for him.

"Harry?... Oh, Pup", Moony takes Harry's hand and uses his other hand to wipe away Harry's tears.

"I got you, Pup. You're safe"

Harry tried to say something but he only got out a mumble.

"Its okay, Harry. Can you open your eyes for me?"

Harry tried his hardest to open them but only got them to flutter slightly.

If he couldn't even muster up the energy to talk or open his eyes then how on earth was he going to comfort this man?

"Okay. Thats alright, Pup. You still need to gain back your strength, you need some sleep"

 _I've been asleep for 36 hours! I don't deserve anymore sleep, i need to stop being weak and get up!'_

But his body wasn't listening.

"I know your awake... you just can't move yet. But, if you can, i want you to squeeze my hand the best you can."

Harry could hear the desperstion in his tone that he tried to hide but failed miserably.

 _'Come on, Harry. Squeeze his hand. You can at least do that for him.'_

Harry tried with all of his strength and he almost gave up but he made it. It was just the slightest pressure, barely noticable, but it was there. and Moony felt it.

Moony smiled and squeezed his hand back.

"Thankyou"

He didn't know why but, Harry was suddenly in so much pain that he gasped out and he suddenly started to burn.

Harry began to scream and Moony retracted his hand upon feeling the burning in his body.

"Sirius! Come back NOW."

Padfoot appeared in an instant looking around for a threat but only saw Moony standing up with his wand next to Harry whose eyes were now open and his body had a pale red light around him. It was obvious that Harry was in agony.

Sirius ran over and tried to take Harry's hand but Moony stopped him.

"He's too hot to touch. He's like a furnace, he'll burn you."

"Harry?"

Harry had no idea what was happening. It hurt so bad, that was all he knew.

' _They're worried about me! what do I do?'_

"Harry! No. Stop please", Padfoot yelled out as Harry began to apparate against his will.

Padfoot reached out and grabbed Harry's arm in a feeble attempt to stop him from leaving. Padfoot bit his lip as his hand blistered and burned.

"Padfoot, im sorry", Moony said as he yanked his arm away from Harry, breaking their connection.

Harry disappeared and a large wave of heat knocked the two men off their feet.

 **GAH! I am so sorry for the super late update. I had a serious case of writers block and then all of a sudden it left and i spentball night writing nonstop.**

 **So how do y'all like it so far? Do you like the twist? Do you have any ideas for how i can continue?**


	9. Oh The Irony Of It All (9)

**I do not own these characters! Characters may be slightly OOC (Out Of Character)**

 _I owe all of this to my great friend and editor and writer..._

 _xoxoxo **Disappearing Kangaroo** oxoxox_

 **READ HER STORIES!!!!!!**

 _Chapter nine:_ _Oh The Irony Of It All_

Harry woke up in the last place he expected to be. He sat up painfully and his eyes landed on an old man with a long white beard sitting behind a big desk.

"P-Professor Dumbledore?"

The old wizard didn't answer, he just started at Harry with a calculating gleam in his eye. Harry saw something eerily familiar in Dumbledore's eye, an underlying emotion that Harry couldn't quite place, But it scared him.

Harry, cautiously looking around, couldn't shake the feeling that he has been to this place before but it wasn't his normal office. A memory started to surface in his head but, before he could fully grasp it, Professor Dumbledore stood up with his wand in his hand.

Harry stared at him, suspiciously.

Harry wanted to trust him but something about this just didn't feel right.

"Are you going to fight against the inevitable again, Mr. Potter?"

"A-again, sir? what do you mean?"

"Same answer you gave last time... in a moment im going to launch a spell at you and you are going to throw up your magic shield. Then I am going to continously pound your shield until your magic becomes too weak to keep it up. The shield will crumble and then I will strike. You will be put through unimaginable pain and when I am done you will look at me with complete and utter pain and a hint of fear. Then I will finish off with a memory wiping spell and you will wake up in your room never knowing what just happened... It really is quite amusing watching the mighty Gryffendor writhing around on the floor in pain then less than a few hours later you come to me for advice as to why you feel drained. Quite amusing, indeed."

Harry was speechless, to say the least.

' _Bloody hell',_ Harry thought darkly.

Harry thought through what he wanted to say but now he was starting to doubt himself.

 _What if I say exactly what Dumbledore wants me to say? What did I say last time?_ _what if everything he just said was a lie?_

 _What if all this had already gone through my head before?_

' _Just shut up and fight back!',_ his mind shouted.

Harry stood up, getting up his Gryffindor courage. But he was also using his head instead of just his instincts, very much like a Slytherin.

 _'What do you know about him? He's powerful, smarter... but i have strength on my side and my instincts.'_

"I can use that against him", Harry uttered under his breath, using the logic of a Hufflepuff.

' _So do it!',_ his mind demanded.

Harry saw the first spell come at him and instead of standing his ground with a magic shield, he dodged the spell which gave time to launch his own spell.

" _Conjunctivitius"_ , Dumbledore shouts.

Harry blocks it shouting,

" _Stupefy_ ".

Spells are being shot back and forth until Harry can feel the toll that his injuries are giving him. He starts to block more and more and stopped shouting spells because he could no longer catch his breath enough to say them.

Harry blocks a particularly strong spell before his legs finally give out and he is on his knees desperately evading and blocking the spells.

" _Sectusempra",_ Dumbledore shouts, pointing his wand at Harry's arm.

Harry screams out as a long, deep, bloody gash is cut into his arm with an invisible blade.

Harry retaliates with a confusion charm but it doesn't work.

Dumbledore comes forward and steps on Harry's hand that is holding the wand. He smiled when he heard the crunch of Harry's bones and Harry's muffled screams.

"And now for my favorite part... _Crucio!"_

The breathe was taken from Harry's lungs and the unexpected pain. It was so intense Harry's body just seized and shook violently. His teeth were gritted and he couldn't scream. Blood dripped from the famous scar on his forehead and tears spilled down his cheeks.

"You will suffer. You will be put through _Hell_ and never remember it."

Harry finally couldn't hold it back any longer and he screamed a blood curdling sound that had the force of his magic behind it, making the walls shake and the floor crack in some spots.

Dumbledore's eyes went wide but he recovered quickly and doubled the _Cruciatus_ curse. He was hoping that it would cut off his scream but it only intensified the shaking and the cracking.

"Stop it _freak_ or you'll pay", Dumbledore shouted using a spell to make his voice sound like Mr. Durselys, in an attempt to scare him.

At first, it seemed to work but not for long.

Harry's scream became background noise to an odd, almost eery, high pitched humming.

"No! Stop it. I will destroy your _Patronus_."

But that didn't stop Harry.

The room was filled with a brilliant blue and white light and an orb floated out of Harry's chest. The orb transformed into a deer, it was his fathers _Patronus._ Harry had used the last of his strength and magic to make it, making him slip into painful unconsiousness.

 **heys guys! I loved writing this chapter. now hopefully i will be including Draco in this story. Should he be** _Friend_ **or** _Foe_ **?... you decide! let me know soon. Thanks everyone**


	10. What Do We Do? (10)

**I don't own these characters. Characters may be sligtly OOC (Out Of Character)** _I owe it all to my incredible friend and talented writer... (drum roll please)_

 ** _Disappearing Kangaroo!!!_**

 _I love you, girl._

 _xoxoxoxoxoxo_

 _Chapter Ten:_ _What do we do?_

 **(Sirius POV)**

"Remus what the hell do I do!?"

Sirius was pacing the hospital room and completely ignoring his blistering and bleeding hand.

"Look, Sirius, i know this looks bad but i know we can figure it out."

It had been three hours since Harry apparated away, leaving the two _animagi_ alone in the hospital room.

Sirius was terrified for his pup. And Remus was worried about his cub. They were both a wreck.

"What if he's hurt, Remus. What if he splinched himself while apparating. Why would he apparate away from us?"

"Im not too sure he apparated on his own free will, Padfoot. I think someone summoned him, descretely and gave it the appearance of apparating."

Padfoot seemed to consider that. He had to admit, it made more sense than Harry apparating.

"What about the burning heat?"

"Well, you aren't allowed to summon someone who is in the infirmary without the patients consent. If you summon them anyway, then the patient is the one who suffers so that could be why he was burning. Whoever summoned Harry, must be a powerful witch or wizard to be able to push past the barriers around the infirmary."

"We need to gather the other professors and scour the school. He has to be here somewhere."

Moony and Padfoot make their way towards the infirmary doors. They go to open them, when the doors burst open on their own revealing a blue, slightly transluscent deer.

"Its a _Patronus",_ Remus observed.

"It must be Harry! Come on!" the two ignore their original plan of telling the professors

The two _Animagi_ ran after the _Patronus_ following it throughout Hogwarts. Finally the deer stopped outside of Hogwarts, right at the gate.

The deer looked at them, solemnly, as if it knew the fate of its young master, then it vanished.

"He- he... left Hogwarts?", Sirius asked, baffled.

"No I don't think so. I think someone within the walls had summoned him in the school then had him sent somewhere outside the school. But i have no idea how we would find out, without knowing who cast the summoning spell."

"What do we do, Remus? We _have_ to get him back."

Moony put his hand on Sirius' shoulder, comfortingly.

"Harry is a strong boy. He will be okay until we find him", Remus was saying the words over and over in his head, desperate to believe them.

"Lets go to Snape."

Remus did a doubletake when those words left Sirius' mouth. Remus never thought he'd see the day that Sirius is willing to go to Snape for help. They hated eachother.

Sirius rolled his eyes when he saw Remus' stunned expression.

"Snape can trace wand magic better than anyone else. If anyone can figure out who cast the spell, he can. Plus, it helps that he was the one who was there when the _Boggart_ appeared. And, you said it yourself, that Snape obviously showed concern for the boy when it happened. So, despite his hatred for James, he has _some_ amount of sympathy for Harry."

To say Remus was shocked, was an understatement. He was utterly speechless.

"alright then umm... lets go see Severus"

Sirius nodded and swiftly walked back into _Hogwarts_ and down toward the dungeons

 _'Lets get this over with',_ Sirius thought to himself.

They finally get down to Snape's office down in the cold, eery, dungeons. Sirius rolled his eyes as he rapped on the big, oak door that blocked the entrance.

A few seconds go by before the door swings open, revealing Professor Severus Snape in his long, dark, flowing robes as if he was about to go to class.

Snape's eyes widened in obvious surprise at who his guest was and it was replaced with a sneer. He was about to make a snarky comment about filthy mutts when he saw the look on Sirius' and Remus' face.

It was- no pun intended- dead Serious.

"What happened to the boy?" Snape asked, skipping any unneeded niceties.

Sirius didn't waste any time, either.

"Its bad, Severus. We need your help"

If Snape was surprised, at the _Animagous_ words that allowed him to show his weakness by saying he needed help, he didn't show it.

"Get in. We don't need anyone listening in", he ushered the two _Animagi_ inside his quarters and slammed the door shut and locked it while putting a silencing charm and a ward around the place.

"What happened?"

"Harry started to wake up but he was crying and he couldn't move, He still needed to gain more strength back. I asked him to squeeze my hand, if he could. He managed to do it but then all of a sudden he started screaming and his skin became to hot to touch, it felt like fire. And thats when I called Sirius back and Harry opened his eyes and it was clear that he was in pain, so much agony. Then he started to levitate and it seemed like he was fading. Sirius grabbed him by the arm and this is what it did", Remus held up Sirius' burnt hand that was sloppily bandaged, Which Severus studied while Remus continued his story, " then it seemed like he was apparating but it was clear that it was against his will. Then we came to the conclusion that he was being summoned. It obviously had to be a very powerful wizard but who? thats why we are here", Remus looked paler than before and Severus motioned to the couch and everyone sat down.

"Harry has his fathers _Patronus_. We saw it a few hours after he left and we followed it out to the _Hogwarts_ gates. Then it disappeared", Sirius added.

Severus was silent for a while. While the two had been relaying their story, Severus had started to clean, heal, and bandage Sirius' hand properly.

"I will run a wand scan over the school and see which one had recently done anything similar to a summoning spell. but it won't be completly accurate as we have students who are practicing similar spells but i will adjust the scan to stronger magic. We will, obviously, want to keep this between us... is there anything else i need to know?"

The two hesitated.

"Well... we do have a question."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Why did Harry's _Patronus_ not show up? Why did his fathers _Patronus_ come to help us find him?"

Severus was quiet for a moment as he thought about it.

 _'That is a good question._ '

"It is possible that Harry doesn't have a _Patronus_ yet."

"I highly doubt that. You know how powerful Harry is," Remus stated.

"Yes i realise that. But the other answer is a lot darker..." Severus paused debating on whether or not to tell them what he was thinking.

"Harry may have been dying at the time. In which case, Harry couldn't produce his own _Patronus_. His father stepped in to save him."

Sirius turned pale and his features took on a sorrowful look.

"But, the likelyhood of him being dead is very slim. I mean Voldemort couldn't kill him and he had nearly 13 years to try. The boy will be 13 in like three months."

"But back then he was defensless laying in a hospital bed," Sirius argued

" He was defenseless as a baby in his crib. And Voldemort still couldn't kill him."

"Why do you keep bringing up Voldemort as your argument? What brought him into this?" Remus questioned.

Severus hesitated.

"He is the only one i can think of with this kind of power."

"Do you think he did this?"

"It is possible, but it is kinda slim."

Sirius went pale and he looked utterly terrified at the thought of his Pup being in that evil snake's possession.

"But the scan will tell me where the spell was cast and the wand that cast it... hopefully"

 **Oooh whats going to happen? Find out in the next episode of _Harry Potter: Behind Closed Doors!!!!_**


	11. What I Deserve

**I don't own these characters! The** **characters may be slightly OOC (Out Of Character).** ** _Thanks again to my incredible friend_** **Disappearing Kangaroo.**

 _She is awesome!!_

 **XOXOXOXOXOXO**

 ** _Chapter eleven:_** _What I Deserve._

 **(Dumbledore POV)**

" _Obliviate_ " Dumbledore shouted out, his wand pointed at Harry.

Harry fought hard against the memory wiping spell but eventually, after fighting it for three hours, he succumbed after giving all his memories one last long look.

Dumbledore had decided to wipe the memories starting from the time when Harry was going to leave the Dursley's to go to Ms. Anthea's to meet the Weasleys.

 _'As far as Harry knows, he never left the Dursely's for his second year and Hogwarts had him expelled for underage magic. He will never remember all that happened after he went to Anthea's and he will never remember the damn hospital visit!'_

Dumbledore laughed histarically as Harry screamed from the pain of fighting the spell.

When Harry gave in, Dumbledore sent him back to the Dursely's in his cupboard... as if nothing ever changed. And the Dursely's never remembered that he left, for they too thought he was expelled from _Hogwarts._

 **(Harry POV**. T **wo and half months later)**

"You idiot! You are a complete waste of space! I can't believe we let you live! No one wants something like you!"

Vernon Dursely of Number 4 Privet Drive bellowed at the small wizard named Harry Potter.

Harry flinched at the words and dodged a fist but couldn't move away from the whip that Vernon, somehow, got his hands on.

 _'Where do you even buy a whip?!'_

"S-Sir w-wait! I c-can make it a-again", Harry gasped out. The pain was so much worse than the belt, everytime the whip hit his back or sides, the air was taken from his lungs.

' _Why can't i pass out at times like these?'_

"You _Will_ make it again, when I am _DONE_ with you!" Vernon bellowed.

He beat Harry until the wood floor was covered in blood and Vernon was panting from the effort of bringing down the whip.

Vernon didn't bother trying to hit Harry where no one would see the bruise or welt because now Harry didn't have a school to go to, and since Harry was never allowed out of the house (unless he was cleaning the garden) they decided that they could do whatever they wanted to do and not get caught. and, because of this, his face was as bad as the rest of his body.

Vernon walked out the door, leaving Harry lying in his own blood. Petunia walked in and saw the mess.

" Get up, you ungrateful brat and clean up the mess you made. then I want you to remake that damn cake you burned. Then do your chores! You are such a waste of space."

She walked out of the house to take Dudley out to eat with Vernon leaving Harry alone in the house.

Harry forced himself to sit up and he looked at everything and then he started to cry. They were silent tears, the same tears that he would shed everynight as he crawled into his cupboard and curled into a ball, when he was in to much pain to sleep.

He learned the hard way that, if you made noise while you cry, you would get into big trouble so Harry learned to stay quiet.

"Someone help me", he whispered into the empty house.

An hour later Harry forced himself to stand up and he nearly cried from the pain of it.

He went to the kitchen and remade the cake batter and put it in the oven. He was somewhat saddened by it. Because his birthday was tomorrow and Dudely's birthday was today but, of course, he wasn't getting a party or cake or presents. He didn't deserve it, But that didn't mean he didn't want it. He didn't even really care about the presents or cake or party he just wanted someone to show him they care, which he knew was a stupid and selfish wish.

While the cake was baking, Harry started cleaning the blood off the floor. Usually he would worry about the blood staining the wood but, since this has happened before, Petunia bought specific supplies for him to use that always got the blood stains up.

The chemicals had to be mixed properly and it required a lot of scrubbing which made his back ache and the wounds on his arms open up again. Harry let a few tears slide down his face but forced the rest of them back down before he lost control of them.

When he finally cleaned up all the blood, and took the cake out of the oven to cool before frosting it, he realised it had taken him two hours to clean the blood.

 _'The chores! They will be home soon amd i won't have them done!'_

Harry ran to the kitchen, panic making his hands shaky. He grabbed a mop and mopped the floor. Then he dusted the stairs, sanitized the door knobs throughout the house, vacuumed, did dishes, cleaned the tables, dusted the expensive china, and swept the porch in the front and back yards, then he made the beds. He let out a sigh of relief as he heard the door being opened. He had finished them just in time.

 _'Thank Merlin! Who knows what they would have done if i hadn't finished it all'._

Dudely was the first one in the house. He came barreling in, excited to get his cake. He ran to the kitchen and shoved Harry out of the way. Harry tumbled to the floor but didn't dare say anything.

Dudely stared at the cake on the stove then he started shouting in anger.

"The cake isn't frosted! there is no frosting. I said I wanted frosting! Where is the frosting?!"

Fear and dread filled Harry as he realised what was going to happen.

Mr. Dursley stormed into the kitchen and glared at Harry while Petunia went to comfort Dudely.

"You freak! why can't you do something so simple? I never knew someone could be that dumb. i'll teach you a lesson about defying my rules!"

Vernon grabbed the whip from the table and raised it above his head. Harry ran away into the living room and tried, in vain, to get into his cupboard. Vernon grabbed Harry by his hair and yanked him back while whipping his legs.

Harry cried out as he wrenched himself free from Mr. Dursely's grasp and he ran towards the stairs, taking them two at a time, he got up very quickly. But, what he failed to have noticed, was that Dudely had gone up to his room to change clothes and get his toys. Dudely came up behind Harry, grinning devilishly, and kicked Harry down the stairs.

Harry wrapped his arms around his head, instinctively, as he fell. the wounds on his back opened up again and soon his clothing was covered in blood... again.

He landed at the bottom of the stairs and he didn't dare move. Vernon stared at him for a while, wondering if he was dead until Harry let out an involuntary whimper of pain. Vernon's anger rose up again but, for once, he stopped himself. He wanted so bad to beat the freak to a pulp but he knew how close the freak was to dying. so instead, he just threw the boy into his cupboard and hung the whip on a hook in the cupboard to scare him.

Harry lay there, in the dark still not daring to move.

 _'it hurts. everything hurts'_

Harry laid there, his mind went everywhere, trying desperately to ignore his pain. His thoughts went towards two men that he had been thinking about a lot.

' _moon? and paddle? No that wasn't their names. Their nicknames were... Padfoot and Moony! And their real names were...'_

Harry was pulled out of his thoughts by a sharp pain in his head. Everytime Harry almost came up with the answer to their names or anything about them, his head would flare up in pain.

Harry stared ahead at the wall. he knew that Dumbledore would know why his head was flaring up everytime he thought about these two strange and kind men. But he also knew that Harry may never return to _Hogwarts_. That single thought filled him with dread.

His friends haven't wrote to him, Harry didn't blame them. They tried for the first month but when Vernon kept burning the letters, they gave up. Harry was afraid that they were angry with him for not answering.

Harry let the tears slide silently and wished that he could see those men, more than anything.

little did Harry know that those two men were wishing the same thing: that they could see their beloved Harry.


	12. Unexpected Help

**I don't own characters. Characters may be slightly OOC (Out Of Character** )

 **I give all my t** **hanks to my wonderful girlfriend**

 **XOXO _Disappearing KangarooXOXO_**

 ** _Chapter twelve:_** _Unexpected Help._

( **Sirius POV** )

"Its been almost three months! Harry could be suffering or, or-"

"Sirius, no. You would have felt it in the link if he was gone. He is alive."

"But, if the link is correct, he is in pain, weak. His condition and the fact that he blocked his mind from everyone, is the only reason i haven't traced him using the bond. He is suffering and he is dying! For two months, not once did that pain go away from him!"

Sirius was in deep despair over losing his godson, the pain was almost too much to bare.

"Sirius, we have to remain calm. And, thanks to Severus, we have raided almost every death eater hide out in muggle london and the wizard world. We have hundreds of people searching in the other countries as well. We have captured almost every death eater around us, none of them had Harry. We must remain level headed if we want to find him," Remus was saying the words for himself as much as for Sirius.

 _'I can't bear the thought of my Cub suffering, lost and afraid.'_ Remus' thought darkly.

Remus' thoughts started to turn to dark things that he wanted to do when he found the men who took Harry.

' _Merlin himself couldn't stop me!'_

"Moony? Earth to Moony", Padfoot said, a bit impatiently.

"hmm? What?"

Padfoot rolled his eyes good naturedly with a smirk on his face.

"Lost in thought, are you?" Padfoot teased, but with a hint of concern that he couldn't mask.

"Just thinking of everything i want to do to those vial, repulsive wizards who took Harry. The war is coming and he is in danger every minute he is away from us. Who knows when Voldemort will return", Remus answered. It didn't surprise Sirius that Remus had used the 'dark lords' real name, Remus knew that refusing to say his name, only gave the man more power from the fear of saying his name.

Sirius never called him dark lord or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Sirius only called him Voldemort just to prove to those around him that the name shouldn't be their object of fear.

"I understand, Remus. Believe me, i do but at least we have Snape to give us a headsup when Voldemort does return. And Snape will probably be alerted by other death eaters if they catch Harry before we do."

They were both silent after that, thinking deeply over everything that has happened over the past few months.

While they were thinking, Severus Snape walked into the room silently and waited for them to notice him.

"What have you found, Severus?" Remus asks politely without looking up from the flames of the fire in the hearth.

Severus sighs, " I found a possible way to figure out what condition Harry is in..."

"But?" Sirius asks, he didn't like the way Severus looked.

"Its a bit... difficult to say...", Severus paused and collected himself, " you will have to take Harry's place".

 **Really really sorry for the short chapter. im hoping tk start getting this story to a climax but it isn't anywhere near the end so don't worry.**

 **When i wrote this chapter there was just no way i could make it longer.**

 **i haven't gotten many new comments or suggestions. i love them**


	13. Hope Is In The Mind

**I don't own characters! Characters may be slightly OOC (Out Of Character).**

 **Give an enthusiastic round of applause to...**

 **XOXOX _Disappearing KangarooXOXOX_**

I love you

 **Chapter Thirteen:** _Hope In The Mind_

Remus head whipped up in shock amd confusion.

"What do you mean? switch places?"

"Well, i looked into my potions records and even the founders records but every tracing spell has failed because, not only is the boy blocking his mind off completely, but he is also very weak which you have been feeling through the bond, correct?"

Snape asked.

"Yes. I never feel anything else when I look into the link. Sometimes the pain is worse and you can almost feel the emotional pain as well but he is blocking that too much."

"And whenever we try to send his owl to find Harry, it always goes straight back to us. I can't fathom why Hedwig wouldn't be able to find her master," Remus mused, more to himself than anyone else.

"I see. Well when i was looking for any potion to assist us in this, i came across a a mind moving potion-"

"Why didn't you say that earlier! Give it to me and i'll take his place and bust him out of there!" Sirius interupted frantically.

"That isn't how it works, unfortunetly. When you take the potion your mind will be transffered into his body but you will be stuck in it for four days. And in that time you will not have control over Harry's body. Harry will still have control over it and you will have no power to interfer. You will have to sit there and wait and there is nothing i can do to change it. Then when the time is up you will wake up back in your body and we will go to the address you give us."

Everyone was stunned silent.

"When can i drink the potion?" Sirius asked.

"Before you jump into-"

"GUYS COME QUICK WE NEED YOUR HELP!" a voice shouted coming from the floo. The three men looked into the fireplace and saw the Weasley twins.

They didn't hesitate to step through and into the Weasleys living room.

"What happened? Is everyone alright?" Remus asked. The three men had their wands in hand, ready to face whatever happened.

"Its Hedwig! She flying around the house going mad! She bit through her cage and tried to gouge our eyes out."

Just as he finished, Hedwig flew down the stairs screeching and clawing at the walls. Hedwig flew down and clawed at Ron who was running with a basket over his head towards the twins.

Snape raised his wand and shouted _Stupefy_ but, even though it hit the owl dead on, the spell bounced off harmlessly.

"Bloody hell, its a magic proof bloody owl!" Ron muttered.

The three men looked at eachother wondering what was going on.

Then Sirius realised what it was.

"Hedwig..." Sirius said soothingly. He began to walk forward towards the mad, flying bird. He walked slowly and quietly.

"Padfoot wh-", Remus began but a look from Sirius quieted him.

Sirius got right underneath the bird, who was now flying circles above his head but, not attacking. He sat down calmly.

"Hedwig... come here please." Sirius asked softly, hoping this would work.

The bird stopped squaking but didn't attempt to land near Sirius yet. Sirius just sat there waiting patiently. The rest of the Weasleys had realised the bird had quieted down and were now watching at the top of the stairs, warily.

The bird appeared to study its surroundings before landing on the back of a chair near Sirius. But Sirius made no attempt to grab the bird.

Hedwig hopped down to the ground and cocked its head to the side examining Sirius, curiously. it took a few more hops and did the same thing again but Sirius still made no grab.

Finally the bird was right in front of Sirius and gently nipped at Sirius' fingers. Sirius didn't react to it because he knew that Hedwig was analyzing him.

Then finally Hedwig nudged her head against Sirius' hand signalling that she wanted some affection, which Sirius obliged to instantly.

"I know you miss Harry... I do to"

At the sound of her masters name, Hedwig perked up and, as crazy as it would sound, looked Sirius in the eye as if she understood.

Hedwig perched on Sirius' shoulder as he stood up. The Weasleys carefully coming down stairs.

"What was all that?" Remus asked, he had never seen his friend act in such a way.

"Hedwig misses Harry."

"How did you know that? and how did you know how to fix it."

"Well, its happened before. Harry was worried close to the end of his first year that his uncle would kill her. so he asked me to take care of Hedwig for the summer. A few weeks before school was due back, Hedwig went buserk just like this. She found a picture of Harry and wouldn't leave the picture. So i made sure to put food and stuff near the picture while she slept because she wouldn't let anyone near her. Then when summer ended i had Harry come and see what he could do. Harry is exceptionally good with all animals but it was just incredible to watch him do it. He did everything to calm her down, instinctually. He knew exactly what to do without prior knowledge. Then he taught me what to do, in case it ever happened again. It took me a lot longer to calm her down than it did for Harry"

"That is interesting. I can't believe Harry possesed the power to calm down a grief-ridden _F_ _amiliar_. Most of them have to be locked up until there masters return but if the master never returns the bond between _Familiar_ and master die and the _Familiar_ almost always dies from the grief."

"Well, the _Familiar_ belonged to Harry.

"Still, he had to have talent."

"He is my godson, of course he is talented", Sirius replied with a smirk.

"Speaking of Harry, we need to figure out the potion"

Sirius looked up with the determination in his eyes, once again.

"What potion?" Fred and George asked in unison.

"Im switching places with Harry's mind. im going to find out where he is then, in four days, im going to wake up back in my own body and we will go and rescue him"

"Why four days?"

"Thats the minumum amount of time for the potion"

"Why don't you just bust Harry out when you go into his head?"

"That was the same thing i asked. I will not have control over Harry's body. I will only be able to watch what happens and wait"

"Isn't that a bit maddening?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you are in his mind. you can't move or fight back against anything", George began.

"You will be stuck like you are under the imperious curse," Fred finished for George.

"So be it", Sirius answered, looking just as determined as before.

"Well there is one more concern that you should consider"

Sirius raised an eyebrow, meaning for him to continue.

"I have dulled the effects but... you will still be able to feel whatever is happening to Harry as if it was happening to yourself. I tried to dull the effects out completely but it was impossible, though it shouldn't be nearly as bad." Severus finished.

"Its a risk i am willing to take."

"Even for risk of the _crucatius_ curse?"

"Yes"

"Very well. Lets go to the infirmary where we can lay you down and watch your vitals."

The weasley twins, who had been listening intently to their conversation and had been worried sick about Harry, followed them to the infirmary.

Poppy set up the vital readings and such while Sirius layed down.

"Are you ready, Sirius?"

Sirius grasped Remus' hand and said forced a smile.

"Be careful, Padfoot", Remus told his best friend. Sirius smile again and let go of the hand.

"Im ready, Snivellus", Sirius said with a wink.

Severus didn't take the nickname personally, he actually chuckled.

"Three... Two-"

"Nope. No counting. Just do it without warning."

Snape nodded his understanding.

Severus sighed as he injected the potion into the IV hooked to Sirius' arm.

Sirius' eyes closed as his mind left and his body remained behind to rest.

When Sirius woke up in Harry's mind the first thing he felt was pain.

 **Well? What do you think about the chapter? at this point i will take negative reviews! no one wants to put a review on anymore!**


	14. Not An UpDate But Please Read it!

**Hey guys. Super sorry about the lull in the story updating. I really hate not updating it but i really messed up on the story line and it got me stuck. Im working on it though. Comment if you have ideas or PM me. Even if you don't have ideas: still comment please**


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